My last year and a half has been full of digestive issues, different diets, trial and error, medications, doctors, confusion, financial struggle—not to mention vocal issues, and not being able to sing. At some points it felt like I was a slave to my health problems. But throughout it all, somehow I hung onto God’s promises for breakthrough and healing.
He continued to speak to me, and guide me through it—but in a process I didn’t expect.
A month ago, we had a team from Agape Freedom Fighters fly in from the USA. They came to equip and train us to lead people to freedom through spiritual, emotional, and physical healing. They were also available throughout the week to pray with us individually. I was so ready, and as expectant as ever for God to move in my life because of everything He had already been doing. It felt like everything had been building up to this point.
Would this be it? Would I finally be free? Would have MY moment this week?
Throughout the week, we had time at the end of the sessions to break up into small groups and pray through things using practical tools. One of the days we were learning about what it meant to have an orphan mentality versus knowing our identity as a son and daughter of God. Immediately, I was confronted that I was operating in an orphan mentality rather than as a daughter. This looked like constantly striving for God’s attention, approval, recognition, and always in fear of failing. I was trying to earn God’s love and salvation, rather than being free to rest in the reality that I already have it.
That day the Lord broke in with His truth. He showed me how He created me, and that He doesn’t regret anything for a second. God told me I was worth it, I was worth loving, worth dying for, worth every time I stumble, everything. I was finally able to see myself as His daughter and to see Him as a good Father. I didn’t have to strive for His attention, recognition, or acceptance. I belonged to Him.
The rest of the week, I got even more breakthrough and more lies were broken off. Now, I no longer see myself as a burden, or as “the one with all the issues.” I feel so much freedom to actually operate in what God has placed in me and in what He is inviting me in to as far as partnering with Him.
Often we are waiting for THE moment of breakthrough. But I am learning that there is not always just one huge pinnacle moment when everything you have been hoping for, asking for, contending for comes to pass. Rather, it’s the many smaller moments that add up over time.
Don’t just wait for THE moment, find the moments along the way. God is always in the waiting and always active. Sometimes you just have to pull back to see the different points God actually brought you freedom. A small shift in perspective can change everything.
It changed everything for me.
YWAM Bethlehem Media Team